Monday, November 28, 2011

Never Try to Fool A Computer

A little humor to brighten everyone's day.

A man, a very tightfisted, miserly man, was suffering chronic headaches, but he didn't want to go to a big hospital because it was so expensive.  A friend told him of a new clinic in town that used computer-based diagnosis, and it would only cost him five dollars plus the cost of any medications.  This appealed to his penny-pinching nature, so he immediately went.

At the clinic, he was directed to provide a urine sample and put it in a receptacle attached to the computer, which he did.  After some whirring and clicking, the computer spit out a slip of paper; a prescription for some medication.  The total cost of the visit was twenty bucks.  He was pleased.  But, he was also a skeptic.  He refused to believe that a mere computer, no matter how economical or cheap, could be so smart.

The man decided to put the machine to the test.  He collected urine samples from his wife, his daughter, himself, and his dog; and, for good measure put in a small amount of water from the tap over his kitchen sink.  He went to the clinic, paid his five dollars and submitted the sample.

The computer took a bit longer this time, but in due course, it spit out a long slip of paper, which the man tore off and began reading.

"Your wife is pregnant," were the words on the slip of paper.  "Your daughter is an alcoholic, and your dog has ringworm.  The water in your home has too much sediment, so you need a filter.  You are healthy, but you are not the father of your daughter, or of your wife's unborn child, so if you don't want future headaches, get your daughter into rehabilitation, take your dog to the vet for treatment, and hire a good lawyer."